Pilot Today's families come in all shapes and sizes, and that is very evident in Jay Pritchett's very full and very blended family. Jay and his new gorgeous and much younger wife, Gloria, are happily married and getting accustomed to their new life together. But when her pre-teen son develops a crush on a 16-year-old girl, it becomes apparent that Jay and Gloria may have some generational and cultural gaps to bridge. Jay's grown daughter, Claire, has a family of her own - three kids and a husband, Phil, who is practically a giant kid himself. Things get a little tense when their teenage daughter, Haley, brings a boy home and Phil tries to adopt the cool, hip dad approach. Then son Luke misuses of his BB gun, which results in Phil and Claire turning it right back on to him. Jay's other grown son, Mitchell, is in a committed relationship and has just adopted a baby girl from Vietnam with his life partner, Cameron. They're going through the joys and anxieties of bringing a baby home for the first time, but Mitchell still has the daunting task of introducing their new addition to the whole family.
The Bicycle Thief Phil is determined to help Luke prove to mom that he is responsible enough to have the brand new bike they just got him. However Phil ends up being the irresponsible one when a hot neighbor clouds his judgment. Meanwhile Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to their first Mommy & Me class, and Jay and Manny have some awkward father and son time.
Come Fly With Me After some nudging, Jay begrudgingly takes Phil out to fly his new model airplane - that is until a maneuver goes awry. Meanwhile, when Gloria drops Manny off to play with Luke, she ends up volunteering to take Alex dress shopping, and Claire finds herself sitting down for an unexpected brother and sister heart-to-heart with Manny.
The Incident Claire and Mitchell's mother, Dede, drops in for a surprise visit and is determined to make amends with everyone she offended during what has been deemed "the incident" at Jay and Gloria's wedding. Needless to say, no one is thrilled to see her and everything comes to a head when the whole family shows up to dinner at Claire's house.
Coal Digger The whole family is invited to Jay and Gloria's for some barbeque and football. However an earlier incident at school between Manny and Luke makes things very awkward for Gloria and Claire, and then things escalate when a not-so-flattering label is uttered.
Run For Your Wife It's the first day back at school for the kids and, at the Dunphy house, Phil oversteps when he misreads how Claire is coping with an empty nest. Over at Jay's, he and Gloria are in disagreement over Manny's interesting choice of outfit for his first day of class, and Mitchell and Cameron freak out after Lily gets her first bump on the head.
En Garde The whole family comes out to support Manny's newfound interest fencing. It turns out he's quite masterful in the sport, but Jay's proud enthusiasm triggers an old childhood wound for Mitchell. Meanwhile Phil is determined to find where Luke's hidden talents lie.
Great Expectations With a history of giving bad gifts, Claire is determined to surprise Phil with an amazing anniversary present - a private performance by one of their favorite musicians, Izzy LaFontaine! However, it turns out to be a surprise in more ways than one. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron call up their party-girl bestie, Sal, for a long overdue night out on the town.
Fizbo Nothing is too big when Phil and Claire decide to throw Luke the biggest and best birthday party a boy could ever want. But when Cameron shows up as Fizbo, the Clown, it sets of a chain of events that ends with someone in the hospital.
